Addiction: A Psychologist on How to Recognize and What to Do

Because of this topic, we may be blocked by some sites (from social networks to search engines)... This topic is very often left behind closed doors, but it affects our lives and our health in the same way as many other topics. Today we're going to talk about. More precisely, about how watching can affect a man's health and what the consequences may be.

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For example, it can lead to psychological problems, erection problems, relationship problems, difficulty accepting one's image, and problems with sex in general.

Watching such videos is not harmful in itself. They can allow you to expand your sex life, as they can be a guide, they can be a good way to cope with your loneliness. Watching such videos can cope with stress. Watching such videos with your partner can sometimes allow you to diversify your sex life. Here we will talk more about addiction to such videos and how watching such videos can worsen our sex life in general. 

Recently, videos of this nature have become more accessible than ever before, and it has become a part of our lives. On a more serious note, pornography has become as much a part of our lives as many other things. This changes the way we think about sexual relationships and what happens between two partners. I would like to start with a simple and interesting case. As a male psychologist, I often work with men.

One of these cases is a young man of 32 years old, who leads an active lifestyle, goes in for sports and works in a high-ranking field, in logistics. He has a girlfriend with whom he has been dating for three years. But from the very beginning, he had big problems with erections during intimate moments with Anna. He also reported problems with sex, and, as a result, began to avoid sexual intercourse. The girl began to ask him if he loves her in principle. Naturally, he loves his girlfriend, but avoids sex, does not know how to approach her, and develops insecurity and anxiety.

When we began to figure it out, the first thing I noticed was that Alexei was fond of excessive viewing of pornographic films. He watched 3-4 videos a day and actively masturbated. This led to two problems. First, he had to admit that his problems with sex were related to excessive pornography use. Second, he realized that the images of sex he had absorbed from pornography were unrealistic. The genres of pornographic films that he watched were unacceptable for ordinary sex life. This created a distorted view of sex. In reality, the sex was also good, but different, which led to an unstable erection.

The therapy was that we worked with pornography addiction like any other addiction. Alexei achieved positive results as soon as he was able to give up watching pornography, began to lead an active lifestyle and establish a relationship with his partner.

How do you know if you are addicted to pornography? There are several criteria. 

The first is emotional avoidance. In any incomprehensible situation, watching pornography becomes a way to calm down. For example, you feel stressed at work, anxious, or depressed, and it becomes a way to escape from problems. 

Secondly, you begin to enjoy it and even remember the names of actors and actresses, which becomes an addiction.

Third. I would say that there is a biosocial model here. We all have naturally different sexual constitutions, and some people really need extra stimulation, that's okay. It is much scarier if the addiction consists in avoiding normal sexual activities and preferring pornography.

The fourth is when I neglect work, school, or family obligations in order to pursue it. 

It is very important to note that almost all people who turn to such an addiction experience shame and guilt, which in turn reinforces anxiety and increases addiction. There is also a deterioration in real relationships with people, sleep problems, fatigue and other physical symptoms. For example, one of my clients was so addicted that he spent money on subscriptions, bought correspondence with models, and so on.

What does pornography addiction include?

This is not only watching videos, but also photos, correspondence in various chats, reading erotic stories, and so on. If a person prefers pornographic materials to communication with real people and real life, these are already signs of addiction.

What does this addiction affect? 

First of all, on erectile function. The problem is that physiologically everything is fine in a person, but desensitization occurs. What is it? When you receive too many sexual stimuli, your brain stops responding to the usual stimuli needed to achieve an erection. Pornography shows scenes that are professionally staged by actors and actresses, and such sex in real life is unrealistic. Neurochemical reactions, such as the release of dopamine, cause pleasure when watching pornography. Over time, the brain gets used to this level of stimulation, and the other stimuli are no longer arousing enough.

In addition, some people feel shame and guilt about their addiction, which exacerbates the problem.

Also, addiction to pornography leads to the formation of unrealistic expectations from sex and a partner in general. Our real sex no longer fits the scripts and images we see in pornography. This can lead to a person having to perform certain activities in bed for arousal, which in the long run can make normal sexual acts unsatisfying and disturbing for him.

If we talk about the physiological aspects that are worth paying attention to, they are simple: 

• persistent or intermittent problems with getting an erection during sexual intercourse, but not when watching pornography; 
• deterioration of the quality of erection, when it is not full enough; 
• Reduced arousal during real sex compared to watching pornography.

If you admit that you have such problems, then the first step is dialectical rejection of pornography. This can be a gradual or abrupt cessation of consumption of such content and a return to normal sexual stimuli. This process can take several weeks or months. It is important to choose between your fantasy, real partner, and pornography, giving preference to the first two options.

If recovery does not occur on its own, there are specialized therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, that help overcome addiction and replace it with healthy behavioral patterns. For example, instead of using pornography to eliminate anxiety, working with anxiety itself. Sometimes medication may also be required, although its effectiveness may vary.

If you have problems with erection and you are confident in its normal function, I, as a psychologist, would not recommend immediately resorting to the use of drugs such as Viagra or Cialis, as they can increase the feeling of self-doubt.

Another important aspect is physical activity, healthy eating and stress management. Good relaxation practices such as meditation, yoga, and deep breathing can help reduce the stress and anxiety levels associated with sexual activity. This, in turn, contributes to the restoration of a full sex life. However, the most important thing is the support of your partner. Working together to improve your sex life can significantly reduce anxiety and strengthen relationships.

For example, in the case of my client I have mentioned, his partner gave him a lot of support, which not only strengthened their relationship, but also helped them later become parents. She accepted his problem and helped him overcome his addiction.

Another important aspect of therapy may be replacing pornography. If you don't have a partner, try to go back to conscious perception of your body. It can be a new experience that will help you regain sexual functions. Do not ignore preliminary caresses and give yourself time to recover. Pornography addiction can seriously affect erectile function, so it's important to be patient.

If watching pornography doesn't have a negative impact on your life, and it can even be inspiring, it's not a problem from a psychological standpoint, as long as it's legal in your country. Watching pornography together can be an interesting experience and strengthen your relationship. The main thing is to be free and not depend on it.

In conclusion, any addiction can be overcome, including pornography addiction. In the long term, you will be able to regain a full sexual and personal life by enjoying sex and watching pornography, but in moderation.