“I left to be myself, but even here I’m pretending.” Why it’s hard for queer migrants to find their community

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Author
Sergey Gortov

After moving, you look forward to new encounters, open-minded people, and the feeling that you can finally be yourself. But instead, you’re met with a wall of silence, Tinder matches that go nowhere, and the feeling that you don’t fit in again. Especially if you’re queer. Psychologist and immigrant Yegor Burtsev explains why adaptation isn’t just about language and paperwork, but also about how much we allow ourselves to be our true selves.

It’s often thought that life is easier in Europe: equal rights, a supportive community, and openly gay people on the streets. But moving there doesn’t eliminate the feeling of being an outsider, the fear of rejection, or the habit of hiding. Everyone says, “Find your community.” But no one says, how...when you lack the words, the confidence, and the strength to start from scratch. Especially if you’re queer. Let’s explore how to break out of the bubble of loneliness. Why do we wear a mask even when there’s no need to be afraid—and how can we live with that?
"My father's words stuck in my head: 'Gays are not worth living.'" LGBTQ people spoke about life at home and in exile
LGBTQ individuals compared their lives in their home countries with life in exile

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