In the new episode of “Gay Chat,” Oleg and his guests Kirill, Borya, and Dima discuss the main challenge faced by emigrants: why gay parties in the US are such an amateur affair, with no one knowing how to set up the sound, choose the music, or put on a show. They debate why even Miami’s legendary clubs lack “atmosphere,” share their experiences of relationships with shared finances, and explore why Russian gay clubs often come out ahead in terms of service (despite their questionable reputation). Plus, there’s a quick primer for anyone who still doesn’t know how modern arrangements in open relationships work.
Important note from the editors. The information provided in the video about medications and their dosing regimens is for informational purposes only. Before taking any medication (including doxycycline for emergency Doxy-PEP prophylaxis) you must consult a doctor. Self-medicating with antibiotics without medical supervision can harm your health, cause side effects, and contribute to the development of antibiotic resistance.
Why are American gay clubs called “collective farms”?
One of the podcast guests, Borya, who has many years of experience working in Russian gay clubs, was highly critical of entertainment venues in the US, particularly in Miami and New York. According to him, the American industry falls short of its Russian counterpart in many ways:
Poor management and chaotic pricing: Clubs are often run by a single person, the menus are poorly designed, and the pricing seems illogical (for example, a whiskey and Coke may cost less than a beer).
Technical shortcomings: The venues are dirty, the lighting is set up unprofessionally, and the high-frequency sounds literally “cut into patrons’ ears.”
Problems with shows and performers: While Moscow shows were renowned for their high-quality makeup, elaborate choreography, and carefully designed costumes, drag performances in American clubs often last no more than a few seconds. The performers then simply collect money from the audience while wearing “stinky dresses.”
Lack of concepts: While Russian clubs focused on variety (for example, karaoke on Mondays, disco on Tuesdays, and bingo on Wednesdays), almost all clubs in the US play the same monotonous “festival” music and offer no unique concepts.
A “green light” for infidelity and a shared budget: how does a marriage of 15 years work?
The guests on the episode took an in-depth look at the psychology of modern relationships and cohabitation. Borya shared the rules that have sustained his long-term marriage:
The spouses practice an open marriage, but either partner can only go on a date after getting Borya’s approval (a “green light”). Borya admits that, thanks to his good visual memory from his days working in clubs, he knows many potential partners by sight and may refuse to let his husband meet someone if he considers that person suspicious or dangerous.
The spouses share a single bank account. They believe that when love is genuine, differences in income should not become a source of conflict.
Another guest on the episode described a traumatic past relationship in which his partner earned significantly more and was constantly buying expensive items and cars. This created an intense sense of dependence and control—so much so that he secretly returned gadgets he had received as gifts to the Apple Store to get the money refunded to his card and regain a sense of financial independence.
Sex parties instead of bars and darkrooms in Brazil
The hosts noted that over the past five years, a huge number of sex parties have opened in New York, leading many gay communities to completely abandon traditional bars with drinks and drag shows.
The participants also recalled how so-called “dark rooms” were set up:
At the iconic Three Monkeys club in Moscow, the entrance to the dark room led directly from the restroom on the ground floor, while the exit led back to the dance floor.
In Brazil, huge two- and three-story clubs with spacious dark rooms, where guests are only allowed to wear underwear, are popular.
Borya proposed a business solution for clubs: grant access to the dark room only to those wearing special wristbands issued with the purchase of a drink at the bar. This would prevent people from coming to the venue solely for free sex.
Doxy-PEP: How Can You Protect Yourself After Unprotected Sex?
An important part of the discussion focused on preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs). The participants discussed a regimen involving doxycycline as emergency post-exposure prophylaxis (Doxy-PEP):
After unprotected sex, it is recommended to take two doxycycline tablets within the first 24 hours after exposure (preferably within the first day, although they may be taken up to 72 hours afterward).
In the United States, such preventive medications are often fully covered by health insurance, whereas in Russia they usually have to be purchased from pharmacies with a prescription. The hosts emphasized that this method does not eliminate the need to use standard condoms.
Important note from the editors. The information provided in this article about medications and dosage regimens is for informational purposes only. Before taking any medication (including doxycycline for Doxy-PEP) you must consult a doctor. Self-medicating with antibiotics without medical supervision can harm your health, cause side effects, and contribute to the development of antibiotic resistance.
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