Mikhail Zygar, one of the most famous Russian journalists and writers, in a long interview with Katerina Gordeeva, spoke in detail about his identity, many years of self-censorship and how his family is organized today. Public coming out and wedding with actor Jean-Michel Shcherbak became for Zygar a point of no return in relations with the Russian state, which three days before the celebration passed a law banning "LGBT propaganda".
On the perception of homosexuality in childhood and the "curse"
Zygar admits that for a long time he could not imagine an open life, since in his youth the image of a gay man was inextricably linked with shame. "I learned that gays exist from the TV series "Santa Barbara"", he recalls, adding that in the series it was presented as a disaster for the family.
For him, the awareness of his orientation for a long time felt like a dead end: "To choose such a path in life means to doom yourself to an absolute outsider in everything. Can you choose to be cursed by everyone?". As a result, he spent years building internal boundaries, suppressing his identity.
Military journalism as a way to prove "masculinity"
One of the most unexpected revelations of the interview was Zygar's admission that his career as a war correspondent in hot spots (Iraq, Lebanon, Darfur) was dictated by a desire to hide his orientation.
"I needed to prove to everyone that I was not gay, that I was a brave, strong man, real and cooler than all of them", says Zygar.
He admits that he spent 10 years of his life on this, being "in war with oneself in the literal sense of the word".
"The Dozhd TV channel propagandized me"
A turning point in consciousness occurred while working on Dozhd. Seeing free people around him, Zygar began to change his attitude to the situation. He recalls a meeting in his office where he realized that all the men present were gay, but no one spoke about it publicly.
"Living all your life in total lack of freedom and in total lies is terrible", he formulates his feelings of that period. At the same time, he sneers at the logic of Russian legislators: "Gay propaganda only works for gay people". In his opinion, "closed" gays (who are in the "closet") make up the majority of public people in Russia, since coming out for an actor or athlete often means the end of a career.
Marriage to Jean-Michel Shcherbak and the reaction of the authorities
Zygar and Shcherbak's wedding took place in Lisbon in the fall of 2022. This event coincided with the strengthening of repressive legislation in Russia. "The state rolled out a gift: a week before the wedding, I was recognized as a foreign agent, and 3 days before the State Duma passed a law banning gay propaganda for adults", says the journalist.
The story of Jean-Michel, according to Zygar, is even more dramatic.
1. Past in the monastery: Jean-Michel lived in an Orthodox monastery, trying to "pray for sin" and "reforge".
2. Separation from his mother: After the outbreak of war and her son's anti-war post, Jean-Michel's mother publicly disowned him, writing: "You are no longer my son, there were and are no traitors in our family". Since then, they have not communicated, and she considers Zygar a "tsrushnik".
Parent No1, No2 and No3
Today, Zygar's family is a complex configuration, which he calls "the real Modern Family". It includes Mikhail himself, his husband Jean-Michel, ex-wife Maya Strovinskaya and their daughter Lisa.
Zygar's daughter not only accepted his choice, but was also the host ("priest") at their wedding. In her speech, she ironically used a quote from Vladimir Putin:
"We will never have such a thing as in the West, with parents number one, number two and number three... Do you know who he was talking about? He said that about me, because I'm exactly the kind of person who has parent number one, parent number two, and parent number three.".
Zygar himself defines himself as "parent number two", giving primacy to Maya.
On the "paradox" of LGBT activists and Palestine
The conversation touched on the sensitive topic of support for Palestine by left-wing LGBT activists in the West, despite the persecution of gays in Islamic societies. Zygar defends the right of activists to such a position, using an analogy with the protection of animals.
"Do we need to protect the Ussuri tigers? If you, fellow animal rights activists, go into a tiger's cage, it will also eat you.", he says, stressing that the protection of an oppressed minority should not depend on whether that minority shares your values. He considers the argument "you would have been killed there" to be incorrect: "It's just not bad to protect any people, regardless of what culture they have".
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Studying at Yale and the history of the movement
While in the United States under a fellowship program (scholarship for professionals), Zygar consciously chose a course in History of the LGBT Movement. He explained this by a desire to study "woke culture" from the inside, since American education is often criticized for being too progressive.
Concluding the topic, Zygar notes that coming out is always a difficult personal effort that requires great strength, especially for people with ambitions and an established image. However, for him, this was a step towards truth and happiness.
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