"We were sitting in a wine bar and talking about feminism"

We were sitting in a wine bar the other day, talking about feminism. Because what else is there to do on a Friday night but talk about women’s rights?

Alcohol has a mysterious effect on the collective mind. Therefore, it turned out that we went through the history of the movement, and the prerequisites, and the current state of affairs. 

Of course, opinions were divided (otherwise the conversation would not have worked).

Some said that women are doing very well today. Especially if you look at things from a historical perspective. When the feminist movement began, women did not have the right to vote, work, own property, study, hold public office, and so on. At that time (the end of the eighteenth century) it was really a man's world. And the stereotypes were appropriate. To the point that the female brain is physiologically inferior to the male one. Now no one would dare to say that women are in any way worse than men, and the feminist movement, in fact, has become mainstream.

Others argued that gender equality had not yet been achieved. In many areas of life, men still dominate. This is politics, science, and the level of remuneration is still different. 

And in general, an ambitious woman must make a difficult choice in her life: either a child / family, or a career. Because, on the one hand, it is impossible to compete on an equal footing with a man in the profession if you have been on maternity leave for three years, have to take a sick leave because of children's snot, and cook borscht in the evenings. And on the other hand, you can't be a good mother and wife if you think about projects, meetings, sales all the time and regularly go on business trips. 

Even in developed countries, the birth of a child turns everything upside down for a woman. No matter how strong the social sphere is, a young mother, as a rule, becomes dependent on her partner. And where then are equal rights and equal opportunities?

So we reasoned, with varying degrees of passion, until one of the participants in the discussion gave the conversation an interesting twist. 

All this is good. We all try together to ensure that women have rights, opportunities, and guarantees. But what about a man? What about his rights and opportunities?

To be honest, I didn't even understand the question right away.

Well, we are not victims in the history of genders, are we? Everything is fine with us. If you want to work, you are welcome. To make a career is healthy. He came up with an idea for politics - go ahead (in Belarus, however, you can't, but that's not the point).

So what is the infringement of a man?

Yes, just in the fact that, in fact, you have no choice. 

You must work and earn. And support yourself, your children, and your wife, if she decides to be a housewife. 

You must to make a career. If you are forty years old, and you are still not a boss or a business owner, then what kind of professional are you?

You you can't That's how you can decide that the most important thing for you in life is your family and child. And for this reason, stop working and become a householder. Even if you are a wonderful father, a caring husband, you clean, clean and you get incomparable cutlets. 

Of course, there were objections. 

Like, there is an opportunity to go on maternity leave. And there are cases when a woman earns many times more and becomes a breadwinner in the family (in the monetary sense, not gastronomic). 

Theoretically, yes. 

But do you know many such families and such men?

Or an even more radical case. 

So that the wife earns money, and the husband just takes care of himself and is handsome?

Maybe somewhere in the very far West, in some Australia, this does not happen. There, even the waiter, introducing himself, immediately announces his pronouns. Why should male householders be surprised.

But in our latitudes, in our, so to speak, post-Soviet space, among friends and acquaintances, as well as friends of friends and acquaintances of acquaintances, I have not met such a thing. 

And it turns out to be an interesting thing.

The whole world continues to fight for women's rights. And there is really still something to fight for. Remember at least the scandals that led to the movement #metoo. 

But since the focus of public attention is on women, men have been left out completely.

It seems to me that we are facing a real crisis of masculinity.

We have nowhere to perform feats except at work. And this is a dangerous state of affairs. After all, if suddenly something did not work out, your career stalled, you are not paid money or you are even fired, then that's it - there is nothing else to rely on.

And, as mentioned above, you cannot realize yourself anywhere else, except for your profession.

Except in war, but it's such an extreme, well!

It turns out that this is how we live.

Women are fighting for their rights. Women have become the main characters of TV series and blockbusters. Women are looking for ways to realize their femininity. 

We look at this with concern and understanding. 

We support it. 

Meanwhile, we're slaving away at work, drinking, and hiding depression, we're dying of heart attacks, but we're certainly not complaining.

Real men can't do that.

Related story:
The brand of hypertoxic masculinity. A perspective on how men have lost their moral compass. Take, for example, feminism…