Young people are now half as likely to interact with their neighbors

Not long ago, a neighbor might knock on your door and ask you to keep an eye on their apartment or hold on to a spare set of keys. You could strike up a conversation by chance in the stairwell, in the courtyard, or outside a store. Today, for many young people, this kind of everyday closeness is becoming the exception rather than the norm.

Регулярно разговаривают с людьми, которые живут по соседству, только около четверти молодых американцев. В 2012 году таких было 51%. Одновременно молодёжь заметно реже обращается к соседям за помощью. Например, оставить им запасные ключи готовы 36% молодых американцев, тогда как среди людей старшего возраста этот показатель достигает 60%.

At first glance, this is merely about neighbors. But this small detail may point to a much more significant shift: people are becoming less and less dependent on one another in their daily lives.

Now almost everything can be done without talking to anyone

Part of the reason is literally in the smartphone.

Food can be ordered through an app. A taxi can be summoned with a couple of taps. Groceries will be delivered to your door. You can receive a package without speaking to the courier. Household services can be found online, and many matters that once required personal contact can now be handled through a screen.

Even the need to know your neighbors is gradually disappearing.

In the past, someone might ask a nearby family to collect a package, feed the cat, or hold on to their keys while they were away. Today, each of these tasks can be handled digitally or by paying for a service.

As a result, it is not just the conversation itself that disappears. The small occasions for it disappear as well.

And it is usually through such chance encounters that we develop the sense that there are other people around us.

Исследования американской социальной жизни показывают похожую картину. В одном из недавних опросов только 26% американцев сказали, что хотя бы раз в месяц разговаривают с плохо знакомым им соседом. Почти половина, 47%, делают это лишь несколько раз в год, а 50% говорят, что редко или вообще никогда не разговаривают с людьми из своего сообщества, которых плохо знают.

But apps are not the only issue

There is another, less obvious reason.

People increasingly feel that they are being watched.

These days, a phone is almost always nearby and almost always capable of recording what is happening. Someone can film another person's party, dance, argument, awkward remark, or simply strange behavior. And within minutes, the video could be on TikTok, Instagram, or another social network.

And you may never even find out about it.

This changes the way people behave in public. When someone realizes that any moment could become public, they begin policing themselves before anyone even takes out a phone.

You might avoid dancing too enthusiastically. Avoid approaching a stranger. Avoid saying anything odd. Avoid doing anything you might later have to explain to people you know.

The saying used to be the opposite: dance like nobody's watching.

The problem now is that no one can be sure that nobody really is watching.

The Paradox of the Digital Age

There is a strange contradiction in this.

We live in a world where connecting with someone is easier than ever. You can message someone on the other side of the planet in a second. You can find an old acquaintance, join dozens of groups, follow hundreds of people, and constantly receive messages.

But that does not necessarily mean more genuine human connection.

Digital services eliminate a vast number of incidental social interactions. We do not need to talk to a salesperson. We do not necessarily have to call a restaurant. We do not need to ask for directions. We can order virtually anything we need without speaking to a single person.

Even a walk around the neighborhood can turn into simply moving between points selected on a map in advance.

This is precisely why the neighbor becomes an interesting symbol of the changes taking place.

They are someone who is physically nearby but by no means necessarily present in our social life.

You can live in the same apartment for years without knowing the name of the person on the other side of the wall.

It is not only communication that disappears, but trust as well

The story of spare keys is particularly telling.

Leaving a key with a neighbor means trusting them with access to your home. It is a fairly simple gesture, but it reflects a certain level of trust.

A 2012 study on older people's social ties showed just how varied relationships between neighbors can be: from having no contact at all to regularly checking on each other's homes and keeping spare keys to their neighbors' apartments.

Today, this model is gradually giving way to another: the less we depend on those around us, the fewer reasons we have to trust them.

It becomes a vicious cycle. We do not ask our neighbors for help because we can handle almost everything ourselves. And because we do not ask them for help, we have fewer opportunities to get to know them and build trust.

And this extends beyond the apartment building

The same logic applies in clubs, bars, concerts, and other places where people once felt freer to be themselves.

Public space is no longer entirely public. A smartphone camera turns any moment into potential content.

A person is not dancing only in front of the people around them. In a sense, they are dancing for an unknown audience that may see the recording tomorrow.

This does not mean that young people have stopped going to parties or no longer want to socialize. But the very cost of spontaneity is changing.

An awkward moment used to end when the party did.

Now it can take on a second life online.

And so the old advice to dance like nobody's watching now sounds almost like science fiction.

Because modern life increasingly means not knowing whether someone is watching you right now, who is watching, or where the recording will end up tomorrow.

Meanwhile, your neighbor still lives on the other side of the wall.

It's just that we know less and less often who they are.