What is sex? Giving a new definition to everyone's favorite pastime

There are so many poets, authors, philosophers and psychologists in the world who have racked their brains in search of an answer to the question "What is love?" (and the famous meme* of 12+ years ago immediately comes to mind).

But for some reason, almost no one thinks about the question of what sex is.

And it seems obvious why - this question is completely stupid. Everything is clear: there is a pistil, there is a stamen, there is friction between them, and now – sex has happened! Not to mention the fact that why should we even answer the question about sex, when you can just have it. To hell with this reflection, let's fuck it!

Oh, if only everything were so simple!

You know, I wouldn't sit and waste my time and yours looking for a philosophical answer to this question if I didn't believe that it was really important. Especially for those who want to have not just sex, but high-quality, safe, regular sex that gives pleasure to both themselves and their partner.

And therefore let us transgit!

Traditionally, when someone says "sex", the first thing that comes to mind is a classic story where penetration happens, orgasm happens (most likely male) and... everything (remember the ending of Yeralash?). That is, it turns out that if the penis did not enter the vagina, then sex did not happen either.

Don't you think, dear reader, that this sounds like a very antediluvian and limited vision?

What about cases where penetration is not possible? For example, when a woman suffers from vaginismus and a man suffers from erectile dysfunction? Or if a person has some type of disability that does not allow him to perform penetration? It turns out that these people will never have sex?

And what do you think about the fact that 81.6%¹ Do women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, which tends to occur during foreplay rather than penetration? It turns out that then female pleasure is not taken into account at all during sex?

Or then what to do with BDSM practices, during which there is no need for penetration (and this is a very large number of practices)? And now people who practice BDSM have less sex?

And what about the many LGBTQ+ people for whom penis-vaginal penetration is either inaccessible or simply unattractive? And abruptly, a whole large community was deprived of sex!

Do you know that there are people who simply do not like penetration as a type of intimacy and prefer, for example, oral caresses or massage? They, poor things, don't have sex anymore!

Believe me, I can continue this list of examples for a long time. But it seems to me that it is already clear where I am leading. If we think of sex as just the story of penis penetration into the vagina, then we exclude too many other possibilities and people.

"Well, what difference does it make to me?" – you will ask, dear reader. "I'm included in the classic concept of sex." Well, almost.

But it comes out somehow lonely and monotonous. There is no one but you in this "sex". Not to mention the fact that penetration can suddenly become unavailable to you at any time due to, for example, erectile dysfunction (of course, I don't wish this to you in a coma!).

By expanding the concept of sex, you remain exclusively in the black. Nothing is taken away, but only added. Here's an example of what you can do and consider that you've had sex:

• Blowjob
• Cunnilingus
• Handjob
• Fingering
• Anal Sex
• Prostate stimulation
• Caresses with sex toys
• Erotic massage
• Prelude
• BDSM/Kink Practices
• Tantra/Sacred Sex

Not bad, right? And suddenly it became so spacious and not at all lonely!

The expanded concept of sex will help you and your sexual partners or partners. And here's why:

1. For hetero men, your partners become included in the game and their pleasure becomes part of the sex. And it's important for you that she likes it too, isn't it?
2. Even if it happens that penetration suddenly becomes unavailable, sex is still available.
3. There are so many opportunities to explore different types of sex and diversify your life, thanks to which...
4. There is more pleasure and orgasms and...
5. You become a better lover, both for yourself and for your partner or your partner. Subsequently, ...
6. The chances of getting stuck in a drought or a monotonous sexual routine are reduced and...
7. Communication in relationships improves.
8. And it just somehow becomes more fun and freer to live.

There are so many buns! Babbling!

If, after reading this text and a long list of benefits, you still don't want to expand the concept of sex, but you want to stick to your opinion – that's okay! You can be understood. For so many years you have believed in one thing, and then some madam sex coach comes and wants, you see, to take this faith away from you. Resistance in this case is almost inevitable.

I will just remind you that this madame, that is, me, sincerely wish you well and want you to have a juicy, fulfilling and safe sex life. And if not today, then maybe one day you will remember this text and think "Damn, this Nika was right! She knew something!"

¹Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy