What to do if you "shouldn't" or why not having an erection doesn't mean the death of your sex life

Oh, that erection. How many things revolve around it (in the literal and figurative sense of these words). What a crucial role it plays for a man in terms of sex and his self-confidence. What is there in sex - in life! And how bitter it is to part with the thought of good or any sex at all, if suddenly it is gone.

Right? No, fortunately, it is not true.

Or rather, many people will automatically agree with these statements and will be utterly surprised and even disappointed by the fact that in fact, all these beliefs about erection not only do not help, but also specifically harm men, and their self-confidence, and sex, and their partners.

Let's figure it out.

First of all, what is this erection? In general, it is quite clear here. Let's look up and translate the official definition in the Miriam-Webster dictionary:

An erection is…

¹ A condition characterized by a hard, swollen shape and an upright or elevated position of a previously quiescent part of the body containing cavernous tissue when that tissue expands with blood.
² the occurrence of such a condition in the penis or clitoris.

(Yes, the clitoris can also have an erection!

To put it simply: when your penis is hard and stands or stands up.

And what about Erectile Dysfunction (ED)? Here is the definition given by the American Urological Association (AUA):

Erectile Dysfunction is a repetitive inability to achieve or maintain a penile erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual performance.

Once this condition was also called impotence, and men experiencing it were impotent. Fortunately, the modern world has come to its senses and is already moving away from the use of this word. Its pathologizing negative connotation is too strong.

По статистике, эректальная дисфункция случается, в полной или частичной её версии, затрагивает 52% мужчин¹. And with age, the likelihood of erectile dysfunction grows more and more and, in fact, no one is immune to it.

Why can ED happen? Here are examples of popular reasons:

Psychological reasons: depression, anxiety disorders, stress, unresolved conflicts and other relationship problems

Physical causes: diabetes mellitus, nerve damage, vascular disease, hormonal problems, and side effects from certain medications.

Lifestyle causes: sedentary lifestyle, physical inactivity, smoking, alcohol, unhealthy diet and obesity.

Well, logically, regular prevention and care for physical and mental health can reduce the risks of not having an erection. Therefore, men, do not forget about this!

Well, well, we understood what ED is, why it can appear – too. And then what to do if it so happened that Not worth it?

Step No -1

Remind yourself that there is nothing shameful or scary about this. This happens to a lot of men and it's normal. You have not become less courageous or less desirable because this has happened to you. And if someone makes it clear to you otherwise, drive them to the neck. With a high probability, you will be able to deal with this problem and even end up with cool goodies, such as understanding your own body and more pleasure from sex.

Step No0 

If you have a chance to talk about this problem with a person you trust, be sure to do so. This will help you fight the shame that is often present in this thread (absolutely illegal btw!) and move on.

Step No1

Start by going to a urologist. The most important thing is to identify or rule out physical causes. You can start from this. Your urologist will help you with further steps related to either treating the disease that causes the lack of an erection or treating the ED directly. This can be a medical solution (and yes, I mean the famous Viagra, but not the one that sang with Meladze), surgical (sometimes surgery and implantation of a penile prosthesis are really necessary) or other external interventions (we are talking about vacuum pumps and intravascular injections).

Step No2

If all physiological causes are ruled out, go to a sexologist, psychotherapist, sex coach or other specialist working in the field of human sexuality. And even if the reasons lie in your body, it will still be useful to go. These specialists will help you either deal with the cause on a psychological level that may be causing ED, or simply support you in the treatment process and help your sex life not to fade.

Step No3

Healthy lifestyle, healthy lifestyle and healthy lifestyle again. Whether your ED is caused by physiology or psychology, maintaining a healthy lifestyle (getting enough sleep, regular physical activity and rest, eating healthy, managing stress, meditating, etc.) will certainly not harm you, but rather will only help speed up the process.

Step No4

Learn, student! Surely, before you faced this question, you knew little about your penis and about sex. And this is not a reproach or doubt about your knowledge of how to please in bed, but just a statement of the fact that with a huge probability, if you are an average man, then you have had sex education... None. And it's not your fault. But you can definitely fix this situation (and the fact that you are reading this article is already that very step). Thank heaven for the Internet and the knowledge of the whole world that is accessible. Just please make sure that the sources are reliable.

Step No5

I strongly advise men (yes, however, as well as women and non-binary persons) to stop running around with an erection like a written bag. The world did not converge like a wedge on your wedge (forgive me for this average-fishing comparison). There are so many other beautiful things in sex besides just sticking it in and out, which you might not even know about (there is even a Whole article!). And maybe ED can be a great chance for you to discover something new and have hitherto unattainable levels of intimacy, intimacy, and high with your partner or your partner.

I know that for a man with ED, this diagnosis and everything associated with it can be a very difficult situation. Therefore, I strongly recommend re-reading Step No -1 and also remembering that there are ways to deal with this problem.

But the most important thing, dear man, your value and strength are not in the size and hardness of your erection. And what is it then? Well, it's up to you to decide. This is a question for reflection, I will leave for you at the end.

¹ Journal of Urology