“Have you noticed how little attention is paid to something like friendship?”

After all, adults have plenty of other things to worry about: where to make money, what kind of car to buy, which preschool to enroll their daughter in, how not to forget their partner’s birthday…

And friendship—that’s something frivolous, childish. It’s for kicking a ball around in the yard, catching crucian carp, or smoking behind the garages.

There are a lot of things on a grown man's checklist. It includes a house, a tree, and a son.

And, of course, it’s very important to get married (well, or for a man to get married). Or to have a mistress. Or a lover. Or both.

Not a word about friends.

It turns out that was completely unnecessary.

Psychologists, sociologists, and other smart people have discovered that having friends is actually very beneficial. According to their research, people who have friends are less likely to develop depression, anxiety disorders, chronic illnesses, and even heart attacks.

In addition, they are simply much happier with their lives than single people.

And that leads to an interesting conclusion. Spending time with friends is just as important as building a career, strengthening family ties, or playing sports.

It turns out that all these seemingly unproductive activities (going bowling with friends, hitting the sauna, going fishing, or just having a beer on Friday) actually make sense!

What's more, such interaction is the key to good health and longevity.

It’s really great to have good friends. And this is exactly the kind of situation where quality matters more than quantity. Although, I think you can’t really have that many truly close friends to begin with. I’m talking about people with whom you can share your deepest thoughts, who will support you in tough times and be happy for you when everything is going well. Deep, meaningful relationships.

But it turns out that even if there aren't any, smaller connections will do just fine. Weak social ties also have a lot of power.

You can sometimes find support in unexpected places: a clerk at a local shop, a barista, a trainer at the gym… Sometimes, just talking to a stranger can make you feel better.

In fact, scientists have been sounding the alarm for a long time. People have stopped being friends.

Of course, COVID added to the problems. Well, in those countries where they didn't treat it with hockey but imposed actual lockdowns. But even before the pandemic, the number of social contacts had been steadily declining.

It's all the gadgets' fault.

Social media, which was supposedly created precisely to connect people, has had the opposite effect.

We started talking to each other much less often. And that meant it became harder to be friends.

Besides, we're not kids anymore. And a sandbox isn't enough for a new friendship.

If you've completely forgotten how to make friends—it's no big deal.

You could think back on old acquaintances you’ve somehow stopped talking to. You could mentally go through your contact list and figure out who you enjoy spending time with—who seems interesting.

Reach out to people you'd like to be friends with. Invite them somewhere: to a game, to a bar, to a quiz night, or over to your place. Who knows, the interest might be mutual.

You can be friends with your neighbors and coworkers—as well as with people you've met at events or while playing sports.

And even with family members.

It’s a natural question: Can your wife be your friend? The answer is: Yes, she can! And there are actually only advantages to this. Especially when living abroad, when your social circle changes and shrinks in one way or another. It’s really great when you and your spouse can support each other.

It's harder to be friends with attractive men if you're gay, because an erection can sometimes get in the way of that kind of friendship. But that's a whole other topic…

Sociologists strongly recommend even talking to strangers.

Of course, in this day and age, that sounds like complete nonsense.

But it’s not as hard as it might seem. You’re standing in line together, sitting next to each other on public transportation, or you’ve met at an event. You can always find something in common to latch onto. And then—we’ll see how it goes. If it goes well—great! A new acquaintance. If it doesn’t—oh well! That’s part of the charm…

People are social beings. It’s important for us to feel accepted and heard, to feel supported, to help others, and to be helped by others.

And I think it’s especially important to be friends in these turbulent times, when war, emigration, repression, and television are constantly trying to convince us that we don’t know how to be friends.

We can do it!

Let's give each other a hug, brothers!