Starting February 23… Happy Defender of the Fatherland Day? (Spoiler: no)

In office workplaces, there are two dates marked by obvious gender tension: February 23 and March 8, which follow one after the other.

Everywhere I’ve ever worked, the girls went out of their way to celebrate February 23 with the men. They wrote poems, invited performers, and set the tables. They gave the most “manly” gifts in the world—deodorant and socks (apparently hinting at something). Sometimes it even went as far as contests that were almost like wedding traditions. No, thank goodness, they didn’t roll an egg down a pant leg, but there was plenty of fun to be had.

People who have served in the military always look down on others a little. The chance to act all high and mighty on this day is one of the few positive aspects of that childhood and teenage trauma—military service.

Every time, I played the role of the guest of honor with the utmost flair. Mainly because the women had gone to all that trouble! So we smiled, acted happy, and put on an air of fierce masculinity.

Although the military hasn't been "sexy" for quite a while now.

I generally don't like the military because I've considered myself a pacifist since childhood.

It all started, I suppose, with a postcard.

Back in school, a classmate of mine drew a picture of me on a postcard for February 23. She depicted me in a uniform, wearing a pilot's cap, against a background of—I think—airplanes and tanks. She made me look as heroic as possible.

But I didn't like it. After all, I didn't want to serve, and even back in school I realized I had to do everything I could to avoid joining the army. Because I was smart.

Along with pacifism, I also inherited a love of history. And if you ever feel like delving into it, “Defender of the Fatherland Day” will raise a lot of questions.

Here's what happened.

It was the winter of 1918. The Council of People’s Commissars of Soviet Russia issued a decree establishing the Workers’ and Peasants’ Red Army. This was because they needed to find a way to resist Germany and Austria-Hungary. The decree was signed, but for some reason, the army was never formed.

The German offensive that had begun across the entire Eastern Front was a stunning success, in part because it was met with great enthusiasm by many residents of the new Soviet state. The Bolsheviks, who had seized power almost by a miracle, were not particularly popular.

The rate of advance reached 50 kilometers a day. That was how far the German soldiers could travel, and that was how far they advanced.

The capture of the town of Lyucin (now Luzda, Latvia) by the Germans is a good illustration of the nature of those events. Forty-two soldiers arrived by train, in two cars. They were tired from the journey, so they went to the cafeteria first. After a light meal, they found and detained a trainload of Red Army soldiers. They lined them up on the platform, took their weapons, and let them go in all directions.

As a result of such valiant actions by the Red Army soldiers, the Soviet government agreed to Germany’s ultimatum and signed the humiliating Treaty of Brest-Litovsk on March 3.

Subsequently, the Soviet propaganda machine went to great lengths to establish a historical basis for the holiday. For a long time, we were taught in school that February 23 was the day of the Red Army’s first victory. Later, we were told that it was the day of the first battle, even though it was a heroic defeat. Because that was the day the Red Army was formed.

The truth is that no significant event took place on this date back in 1918 (neither according to the new calendar nor the old one).

The date of the holiday was chosen at random. It just so happened that February 23, 1919, fell on a Sunday.

But the Soviets were good at spreading their myths. It got to the point where girls didn't want to date guys who hadn't served in the military. They were said to be weak and cowardly, hiding behind women's skirts.

But that was a long time ago.

Now, what's left is what's left.

The holiday is celebrated in only four post-Soviet countries—Russia, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, and Belarus. In the most progressive countries, that is—the ones that sacredly preserve and even slightly build upon the Soviet legacy.

What are we celebrating? Why?..

But don't overthink it. Thinking is, in general, a completely unnecessary activity for a soldier. It gets in the way of following orders, and besides, a helmet doesn't look as good on a smart head.

It is much easier to celebrate and rejoice in accordance with the decisions of government agencies and higher-ups…

What am I getting at with all this?

Men's Day is definitely a good idea. After all, there's Women's Day!

But under no circumstances should this be a military holiday.

A man has many roles in life: husband, sexual partner, father, friend, colleague, expert, creator…

There are so many ways to fulfill yourself—through creation, not destruction. Find a partner, start a business, build a career… Plant a tree and build a house, after all.

Unfortunately, We’re capable of fighting, too—that is, of destroying and killing. Let’s call a spade a spade.

But God forbid we ever have to deal with that.