Opinion: A Fallback Option with No Future. What It's Like to Date a Married Bisexual Man

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In one of my articles, I acknowledge that the future belongs to bisexuals, but I want to talk about others who bullshit, give false hope, and put their own selfish desires above those of others.

In a world of secret intrigues and double life, these married bisexuals have settled down as kings: borscht at home, stability, family, and on the side - a lover. And there is nothing wrong with it. Variety, adrenaline or just because "can". And here he was, hiding the ring in his pocket and howling an old song about "you are mine".

But we know you're dessert for him. I would even say a toilet for draining, but I won't offend you, you're my boy's victim here anyway. You must understand, you are an addition to his boring life for him, tasty, but not necessary. Everything goes smoothly until you decide that it's enough to be a "backup airfield".

All you have to do is say: "I've found a great guy who doesn't hide in the shadows, and we're building something real, without secrets or lies."– and that's it, fuck! The "king's" cuckoo is torn off, and a circus begins: hysterics, accusations, counting spending on gifts. Why? Because their ego cannot withstand the blow.

Imagine a typical "married" person: he swears his love, promises that everything will change soon – he will divorce, move, make you the center of his universe. But these are all words, a smokescreen. In fact, he is comfortable in his marriage, where there is a routine, children, a common life, a mortgage and a wife to whom he lies. A circus with horses begins: first shock and denial. "How can you? We are together! I thought you loved me!" He shouts, nervously twisting the ring on his finger and not going to change anything. He calls in the middle of the night, writes endless messages: "You're a traitor! You used me!". But what kind of love are we even talking about? What else is there besides love? Are you accusing me of betrayal just because I want a simple cup of hot coffee from my boyfriend in the morning? Do I want to fall asleep and wake up not alone? The irony is that he’s the one who took advantage of the situation to have the best of both worlds. The drama might be escalating: tears, threats, manipulation. "I'm going to get a divorce right now, give me a chance!" "But that's usually a coward's bluff. He will not divorce. He just wants to continue coming, draining and leaving.

Why do they react this way? It's simple: married people do not admit or do not understand that the "thing" from his secret closet suddenly came to life and went to someone else. He is used to the fact that you are always on the hook - available, loyal, do not shine, do not demand much. This is his "alternate airfield". When this airfield closes, he panics, like a three-year-old whose pacifier has been taken away. Suddenly he realizes that he is not so irresistible, that someone else can give more. Plus, jealousy: "How did you find someone better than me? I'm your ideal!" they make scenes, from angry monologues to attempts to sabotage new relationships. "That guy is an idiot, he's not worth you!" they say, ignoring that they couldn't (or didn't want to) offer anything stable.

And for you, this becomes a moment of enlightenment. You've been wasting time with someone who was hiding behind a ring on their finger, and now you see: their tantrum is not love, but the most ordinary possessiveness. They don't want to lose you, not because you're unique, but because their secret life becomes more boring without you. My advice to you: if a "married" person has started this performance, close the curtain and send the fuck without the right to correspondence. Run. Don't be a backup, don't be dessert. Be a main course that someone can't handle.