The Future of Queer Men: Why Bisexuals Are Becoming the New Norm

I'm listening podcast our main Doberman with blogger Stas Trotsky. And at some point, they come to the topic of polyamory. The question sounds – simple, but so precise that I am already frozen: what will be the future of gays in general?

And the more I mulled over this idea, the clearer one thing became to me: if you look at the numbers and trends, the future belongs not to gay men, but to bisexuals.

That sounds a bit extreme, but let's break it down.

What do the polls say?

Among all American adults, 9.3% identify as queer. That’s one in every eleven. Ten years ago, it was one in every twenty. A threefold increase in a single generation.

But the most interesting part begins when you open the “By Orientation” tab.

More than half, 5,2 % от всех взрослых, называют себя бисексуалами.
Gays - only 2%.
Lesbians – 1.4%.

In other words, if you meet someone who isn't heterosexual, the probability that they are specifically bisexual is now over 56%. So it turns out that Bi is the new mainstream.

And now we turn on the generational filter, and then the brain explodes. Children who are now between 18 and 28 – almost a quarter of them, 23%, say: "Yeah, I'm not exactly straight.". And within this quarter, bisexuals are no longer just the majority. Они абсолютные чемпионы: 59 % всех ЛГБТК+ в этом поколении. Only gay men and lesbians combined were left far behind.

It turns out to be a funny thing: what twenty years ago was considered the "most marginal" orientation (after all, "choose a side already!"), today has become the most popular among all non-heteros. Bisexuality is no longer an exception or a transitional stage – it has become an entry point into the LGBT world for an entire generation.

Partner Pool: The Bs Win

From a pragmatic standpoint, a bi man has dozens of times more potential partners.

Gay – This is around 4-6% of the population. While we are spraying poison at each other, bi covers the entire spectrum: women, men, bi, fluid, curious.

On Tinder, he simply swipes right on both genders and lives in a never-ending stream of choices. If he gets tired of the endless stream of women in his life, he’ll just move on. Meanwhile, a gay guy is, so to speak, on Grindr, where competition among bottoms gets fiercer and fiercer every month.

Polyamory is also bi territory

When it comes to polyamory, the B-guys usually find themselves in the very center. Most polycules in reality are mixed: somewhere there are women, somewhere couples of different compositions, somewhere even queer geometry.

And a bi-man fits into such configurations almost naturally: a girl, a guy, a threesome, mixes - everything is combined without unnecessary stress.

But purely gay men in polyamorous relationships are much rarer. Gay polyamorous couples without women do exist, but they’re more of an exception—rare and usually more private.

Simply put, they feel right at home in the BI poly-ecosystem.

Social Adaptability

As much as we might want to believe the fairy tale that “everyone has long since accepted it,” homophobia has simply learned to speak more quietly. It hasn’t gone away.

And here bi has its own head start. If necessary, they calmly "pass" to hetero: they date girls, start a family, give birth to children in the usual way – and at the same time do not give up their queer side. Two worlds, two sets of rules, and both work.

Gay people have less of that luxury. For them, it’s either coming out openly—with all the risks that entails—or a lifetime of hiding and trying to figure out where it’s safe to be themselves today.

Flexibility is different – and, alas, the social environment feels it perfectly.

Culture is changing

What used to be automatically recorded as "gay culture" is now creeping across the spectrum. Young guys do not want to drive themselves into frames - it is easier for them to say "I try" or "I like it according to the mood" than to stick a clear label. Therefore, the word "gay" for many has become not the main, but just one of the options. It does not disappear, but becomes part of a larger queer canvas. Hangouts become mixed, the aesthete becomes common, and the boundaries become softer.

And this isn't the "disappearance of gay people," but a shift in style: fewer labels, more freedom to be whoever you want to be today.

Here's a more concise, expressive version—like the final paragraph of the article, but without any unnecessary weight:

So what's in store for us?

If this trend continues, in ten years’ time the classic 100% gay man will become something of a beautiful rarity—stylish, recognizable, and respected. — But it’s still a small subculture. Like a vintage Mustang: it’s nice to look at, but most people have long since switched to something more modern and versatile.

But the vast majority of non-straight men will fall into a broad spectrum. Not because it’s “trendy” or “the thing to do,” but because it makes life easier: more choices, more relationship options, less pressure, and more room to try whatever you want.

This is not a tragedy or a victory, just a change of climate.

The world is becoming softer, more fluid, and less binary. Boundaries are blurring, and one’s orientation is no longer a rigid identifier of identity.