“Give me back my 22—not just some guy would’ve fucked me, but the whole planet would’ve”—a confession from an old whore

Yesterday I stumbled upon an interesting post by a blogger who was reflecting on the topic of gay polygamy: he claimed that men are, by nature, sluts, which is why they either don’t want relationships or, if they do, they want them with an element of freedom—that is, a license to be promiscuous.

Information about my worn track: It all started when I was 18. I had three relationships that lasted three years each, two that lasted six months each, and now I’ve been in this one for five years. In total, I spent just four years without any commitments. It was during those years that I was fully polygamous.

All my relationships were with regular guys—based on love. It turns out to be some kind of weird shit.

And so I started wondering: am I even a polyamorous person? Back then, I went through boyfriends like they were gloves. I divided them into groups: resources, smart choices, and health-related items. Resource-based — the ones I knew everything about; they were well-off and self-sufficient, and for some reason I was sure they would share their resources with me. Smart — those who shared their ideas, experience, and knowledge. And for your health — I didn't even ask their names. Anyway, I was trying to solve all my problems at once through sex.

Now, looking back on my life, I ask myself: Why was I jumping from one shitty situation to another back then, and why don’t I do that now? And did I really need all those connections? Let’s take a look back at my younger years—no money, no brains, completely screwed. I used those connections to fill the void in my soul and my ass, all while chasing financial stability. The goal was simple: either hook up with a well-connected guy (to be fair, I genuinely loved all those well-connected guys), or get some solid advice on how to escape this abject poverty. If OnlyFans had been that popular back then, I would’ve started doing porn at 22—and what’s wrong with that?

But now I realize that polygamy isn’t about “male nature” or an eternal thirst for freedom. It’s about survival. When you’re 18–22, the world is one big source of stress: no money, no connections, no Plan B. And sex becomes currency. A guy with resources—one hookup, and you’ve got a roof over your head or connections in case of trouble. A smart guy—one hookup, and you get advice on how to handle a situation. And “just for fun”—it’s simply an outlet to fill the void in your soul and your ass. I wasn’t a sex addict who was “never satisfied”; I was a hungry wolf in a pack of hyenas.

Right now? I have stability and confidence in the future. So what? I don’t feel the urge to jump around. Because the void has been filled: I have money, I have goals, and I have a boyfriend of five years who I can be completely open with—both physically and emotionally. Polygamy is gone, just like teenage acne. The blogger is half-right—guys are womanizers, but not by nature, but out of desperation. Give them resources, give them confidence—and half of “polygamous” gay men will settle into monogamy faster than you can say “next.”

By the way, in the Russian-speaking segment, I noticed one trend that wasn’t there three years ago: everyone has started their own Telegram channels selling nudes—it’s become so mainstream. Instead of a single sponsor—thousands of subscribers. Give me back my 22—not just some random guy would fuck me, but the whole planet would. Monetizing youth. It turns out to be some kind of digital whore.