The Habituation Effect, or How a Man Can Learn to Enjoy Life

Enjoying life is both a science and an art.

And what is remarkable, no one taught us this. Therefore, you have to catch up at a conscious age.

And there's a whole layer of it there. And to psychologist Take some time to figure out how your parents hurt you. And practice mindfulness. Step outside your comfort zone, then step back into it. Get enough sleep and stop eating cookies.

I want to tell you about only one trick, because I haven't figured out the rest myself yet.

In general, so. 

Imagine going to a restaurant with your better half. The waiter kindly seated you at the best table. Light jazz is playing softly, a magnificent view of the Seine (or Svisloch) opens, candles are burning, reflected in the eyes of your companion and the tablecloths are clean. And in this beautiful atmosphere, you have a leisurely dinner for several hours, talking and drinking some Chablis. 

Attention to the question. 

Which will be better? To devote all this time to a delicious meal, wine, jazz and each other, or to go to another part of the restaurant several times a evening, where there are a lot of people, smoking and shouting from the speakers Misha Krug?

It seems that the answer is obvious: let me enjoy, don't distract or interrupt! 

But it turns out that in terms of the cumulative amount of pleasure, it's better to interrupt dinner with something less enjoyable and then return to your ideal environment.

The secret here is this.

British scientists (what would we do without them?) conducted a study. They interviewed people on vacation, trying to determine what and when they were most happy (I would like such a job). 

It turned out that the greatest euphoria occurs in the first 44 hours of rest. Then happiness slowly declines. 

No, people are still happy, but not like that anymore. Without goosebumps and butterflies in the stomach.

And analyzing the questionnaires, our meticulous researchers stumbled upon the word "for the first time" over and over again.

The trick is that a person gets used to everything. Even to a very good one. 

So, going back to our ideal dinner at a restaurant, it’s best to take a break from the evening at least a couple of times so you can return to it later and recapture that sense of novelty: "God, it's so good that we're here!"

For the same reason, scientists advise taking several short vacations during the year, rather than one very long one.

But with negative impressions, everything turned out to be exactly the opposite. It is recommended to take them whole, immediately and without distraction.

Причём это совершенно контринтуитивно. Если спросить, то 90% людей ответят, что хотели бы перерывы в неприятном. 

But the trouble is that later, when a person returns to something disgusting, he stumbles upon the very feeling of novelty. With renewed force, an unpleasant smell will hit the nose, the boss's voice will cut the ear again, again these lumps in the semolina...

Thus, the total amount of suffering will be less.

And I thought, the same thing happens with relationships.

If you feel good and cool with your woman, then if you periodically break up for a while, and then meet again, there will be more happiness. No wonder it is recommended to sleep on separate beds to add a spark. And separate vacations, it turns out, are very appropriate. 

After all, then there will be the joy of meeting, hugging, touching, communicating. Everything will be like a little bit for the first time, in a new way, exciting...

And vice versa. If the relationship is worse than ever, then it is better to carry this cross to the very end, without being distracted. Live in grief and grief until death or some other lucky chance do you part. 

Such is the paradox. 

A lot of tasteless, a little tasty. 

Make sure you don't mix it up.